On Mourning

You people were supposed to call me out if I slacked off here!! And slack off I certainly did:) I've had a rough time emotionally for the past several months, anytime I struggle like that I usually start to distance myself from the World at large. I suppose that's exactly what happened here. 


My grandmother was diagnosed with, and then died from, lung cancer, within a very short time frame. When I wasn't driving back and forth to be with her, I was crying because I knew her last days were coming. Although I did think we would have more time left with her than we ended up having. Dr's gave her 8 months, but in reality she only survived about 8 weeks. Try as I might I still just can't seem to imagine my life without her presence. It's a daily struggle for me. I have officially gone the longest I have ever gone without speaking to her. Today marks 15 days since I've heard her voice. I keep thinking I'm getting a bit better with each passing day, but then something always happens that throws me back full force into my grief . Today I broke down in tears during Worship at church. It hit me so unexpectedly. I know that this isn't the last time that this will happen. I could probably cry a whole river of grief with all the pain in my heart. Sad but true. 


Here's the thing though, my grandmother would NOT want me to do that. She was a woman who enjoyed life to the fullest. Anybody that knew her would tell you that's true. She lived a hard life. Her childhood was extremely difficult at best. She grew up during the depression. Her 1st husband died, leaving her a single mother of 3. She did remarry and have another child, my dad:). They traveled and even packed up a camper to move across the country to Arizona. With 4 young children in tow! How's that for adventure? Eventually she found him to be cheating on her, which again left her as a single mother. This time to 4 children. But she worked hard and made her life work to her advantage. 


And she had loads and loads of fun while she was doing that. She traveled extensively, visiting every single continental state plus Europe. She laughed!! Lots of times she even laughed at herself--which most of us don't do enough of. I know I tend to take myself way too seriously at times. She rarely did that. That's not to say she didn't have strong opinions--because she did. She had no problem voicing those opinions either. My kids took to calling her "crabby grandma". But here's the thing, the more she crabbed at you, the more she loved you. A truer statement has never been spoken. Her crabbiness stemmed from her not wanting her loved ones to have to suffer. She didn't want us to know pain. She loved us all fiercely and was wildly protective of us. She had lots of life experience and she had no problem doling out advice based on that experience. She wasn't always right, lots of times she was flat out wrong:) Sometimes her unwanted advice was nothing short of rude and I will admit she hurt my feelings more than once--but her HEART was always in the right place. In the end, that's what counts. I have so much more to say about her!! And I will--in another post. I can't wait to share how she lived her life and the gifts that she left me with. 


Right now though I want to share the words that were on her memorial cards at the funeral home:

                                   

Fill not your hearts with pain and sorrow, 

But remember me in every tomorrow. 

My going  has eased my pain and given relief, 

Forget that I ever had heartache

 and remember that I had loads of fun. 

So dry your eyes and forget your grief, 

Remember the joy, our laughter, my smile. 

And that our being apart is for just awhile. 

Remember me also as I used to be, 

Understand in your hearts, so precious to me, 

That I've gone on ahead to dwell up above, 

Stand for a few moments beside me, 

and remember only the love, 

And til we're once more together...

You have all of my love. 

I don't know who originally penned these words, but they sound exactly like something my grandmother would say. So much so that when my mother read the words, she asked if my grandmother had written them herself. These words, along with lots of prayer, are what is getting me through the hard times. I look at my children, whom my grandmother loved and adored with everything she had, and then I remind myself of these words. She wants me to pick myself up and keep going. She wants me to continue being an awesome mama to my 3 beautiful children.  It's okay to be sad. It's okay to be lonely for the woman who took me in and loved me when I needed it most. Jesus was sad and wept when his friend died. He mourned. I'm definitely going to be in mourning for a long time to come. You may catch me in a mess of unexpected tears. But if I'm going to honor her, the greatest thing I can do is to continue living! To be the best wife and mother I can be, to have fun and laugh at myself every once in awhile, to not be afraid to make mistakes and most of all? To love and serve those around me! That's how she lived her life--and it was a beautiful life indeed:) 

Getting stuff done...

Today we finally got moving and got some errands done!! Yay us:) Maia had an eye appointment bright and early this morning. Her prescription changed just a bit, but other than that she has great overall eye health!! The tech pulled about 20 pairs of glasses for Miss Maia to try on but in the end she picked the same exact style she has now. She knew exactly what she wanted I guess. It was hard not to sway her towards this awesome green pair the tech had hand picked for her, but in the end I let it be her decision. And hey!! Whadya know? Our "free" glasses ONLY cost us $87.00 this time around!! Even though I was smart enough to forego the extra testing that our insurance doesn't pay for, I still had to pay out of pocket:( Part of it is my own fault though because we do get Maia the transition lenses, which aren't covered by our insurance. Our Dr. really stresses the transitions though as they block out harmful rays. And you know...I can't imagine NOT wearing sunglasses when it's bright out so I'm not going to make my child do it either.

Then we headed over to the Middle School Isaac was originally slated to attend so that we could get his records moved to his new school. I felt weird allowing them to make a copy of our electric bill but that's how we had to prove residency. It just felt odd leaving strangers with quite that much info about us. So it's official...Isaac is now enrolled into a Middle School where he knows virtually no one except one or two other boys. I do feel sad for him but I also feel strongly that this was the right decision. It's a good school. When I chatted about it with him today he said that he's excited to make a new start and meet new people. He still enjoys hanging out with all of his other friends, but really, you can never have too many friends right? For as much of a homebody as he is he is also pretty outgoing. I don't think he'll have a problem making new friends at all:)

We threw a couple of other errands in the mix and then we headed to the store to pick up some supper stuff. 3 kids in a store of free samples is always super fun:) NOT!! I swear my kids think they need to eat their body weight's worth of samples:) I have to drag them away kicking and screaming from the fancy cheeses. And let's not even get started on the bread!!

While we were there we ran into Maia's 2nd grade teacher, who actually now teaches 1st grade and whom I was  REALLY hoping Asher would get this coming school year. She is young, sweet, super nurturing and full of energy. But of course we are switching schools and I will now know NOTHING about any of the teachers my kids get:( I just need to keep praying that they all get the very best teachers for them. I'm sure God has a plan and He will work it all out,  but yet it's still a source of worry for me. Who doesn't want the very best for their babies? Speaking of my babies...I am off to spend some time with them:)

The Hood!!

We've had a very busy week. Sitting around doing a whole lot of nothing:) We have ALL been beyond lazy--you might even go so far as to say we've been slothlike!

The kids were supposed to go to my parents on Sunday night. I didn't plan anything fun for us to do because I really didn't think they would be here. I mean their first trip there was cancelled due to illness...certainly things would work out on the second try. Except maybe not...turns out my dad was hit by a truck late Saturday night. Craziness right? He's fine but still recovering. So I got to keep my kiddo's home with me and we sat around like sloths:) Mainly because it was so hot. But also because I was starting to worry about our hood:)

One of Maia's friend's parents told me how they are looking for a house "more North". More North is definitely nicer. I'd like to live there too:) Trust me we looked over that way!! Then we decided we liked the little things in life...like feeding our children!! So we started looking in our current neighborhood. We found a nice house in a nice neighborhood that we could afford. Not the perfect for us neighborhood, but a nice one. Our lender would've given us enough money to buy a house in the more desirable part of town, but we know our limits. It would be awesome to live over that way but we value things like...oh I don't know...the neccessities:) So anyway this lady keeps going on and on about how this neighborhood is bad and it's being infiltrated. Infiltrated by what I'm not sure? She's a nice lady and I understand that she's having problems with her specific Cul de Sac, which is not really near our street. But I still internalized what she was saying and let it affect me:( This is a real weakness of mine.

So all week long I have been stressing out that we bought a house in the worst hood in all of Columbus!! I have had nightmares and panic attacks thinking that we made the worst decision of our lives. I'm a little over dramatic sometimes if you haven't noticed:). SO tonight Andy thought it would be a good idea if we took the dogs out for a walk and explored our new area just a bit. I just knew we were going to see gangs and drug dealers on every corner. I mean really--my brain conjured up all sorts of awful scenarios that we would encouter on this outing!! Gun toting thugs were for sure out to get us. It turns out that we DID see gangs!! Gangs of runners, joggers, dog walkers and families out with their kids. For real?!?!?! We live in a nice neighborhood and I need to quit letting what others think cloud my vision:) It's an ongoing lesson with me I tell ya:) I'm a work in progress.

While we were out walking Asher smelled something yummy and told us that people were "steaking"!! It took me a few seconds to figure out that he meant grilling:) I love all of  Asher's "isms"!!

The only other productive things we did this week were take the dogs to the vet and put together our new trampoline. Andy declared that our old trampoline was too much to take apart and move so we left it behind for the new tenants. It was really starting to show wear and tear so I let it go. Aunt Jackie was kind enough to send us a new one!! And the new one...is BIGGER than the old one!! I don't know how that's possible considering the old one was a gigantic monster but she managed to find an even bigger one this time around. It's SUPER sized:)

Here's Isaac testing it out.

Flying through the air UPSIDE DOWN. Talk about no fear.

Miss Maia and her big TaDa. Somehow I missed her flip. It would probably help if I took the pictures in the daylight:) And yes she is see through her. Don't ask me how I did that because I have no idea!! I seem to have a special talent for it thought as this isn't the first time I've made one of my children see through.

Asher Photo Bombing us!! He is such a ham:) I didn't realize quite how high he could flip until tonight.

Hopefully we'll be a bit more productive the rest of this week and through the weekend. We have company coming to stay with us so I need to get busy to make sure everything is ready for them!

Legos and E-mails Oh My!!

So Isaac has been begging for an e-mail addy for quite awhile now. Among other things. He also desperately wants a cell phone and a Facebook account. He's not getting a Facebook or his own cell just yet. But I did finally give in on the e-mail.

More and more of his extracurricular stuff is coming to me through e-mails. Baseball schedules and scout info. I'm sure once school starts he will probably need a way to communicate with teachers. It'll be different than elementary school and me communicating with one single teacher. He'll be more responsible for his own stuff and he'll have multiple teachers to deal with. So I opened him an e-mail account. One that I have complete access to of course:)

You know what? It's been FUN!! As much as I was dreading him moving into the big bad world of social media, this e-mail thing has, so far, been a good thing. We have been sending messages back and forth to each other for 2 days now. It's like we can *talk* without interruption...which never seems to happen in this house!! We've shared silly thoughts, endearments and even touched on some more serious topics. I'm seeing a picture into the future of him not wanting to say some things directly to my face. You know--embarrassing teenagey things--but him being much more comfortable typing those things out and hitting the send button.

We already do something sort of like that now. All 3 kids have special *mommy and me* notebooks that we write in and pass back and forth to each other. It's fun!! But sometimes the notbooks get misplaced. Or we think "oh...I have something I want to write...I'll do it later". But we never get back to it and the thought or moment is gone. The computer is easy. Especially with Isaac. He spends more and more of his time on the computer. And honestly? I spend more time than I should online. Which makes it especially easy to just open a new tab and send a quick note:) Perfect!

We're keeping Maia and Asher's notebooks because it works for us. But this new e-mail set up is going to work better for Isaac so I'm gonna go with it:)

So since this whole post has mostly been about Isaac I'm gonna share what has been making him roar with laughter lately. And I mean really roar:) He has been really into stop motion with his Lego's for awhile now. He's made a few videos and he's working really hard to get his timing down just right. While researching he found these videos:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6gta-SvNjyo

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5h8rp7PHBmA

Talk about silliness!! Hearing Asher laugh while he's watching them just makes my whole day!! I sat down this afternoon with all 3 kids and we watched most of the other lego videos made by this same guy. It was a wonderful day!!

Sloooooooowwwwwww Down Summer!!!

So this Summer has just been flying by!! Sad but true. I really wish it would sloooooowwwww down:) We have been busy little bees:)

Unpacking is coming along. As long as you don't look in the basement...or....the dreaded garage. Maybe I'll take a picture to share later this week. If anyone that didn't know us saw it they would think we were a bunch of bonafide haorders. I've GOT to get that area cleaned up. It's just that it's been way too HOT to be out there. But we have discovered that several electrical outlets (including all but one(?) in the garage) in the house are not functioning. This needs fixed ASAP but I'm gonna guess the repairman will need access to the garage. In it's current state, he would be lost, drowning in boxes in no time flat. We'd have to send some type of rescue crew out to retrieve him. It's seriously that bad!!

Besides all the moving and unpacking, we have still been getting out and about and enjoying ourselves. Isaac's good friend Mason came to stay for a few days and that was great FUN!!


We went to the shooting range. I was NOT overly excited about being included in this trip. The shooting range is just not my thing. Or at least I didn't *think* it was my thing. But they needed someone to take pictures so there I was:) Andy ended up dragging me in there and making me shoot his pistol. I've shot the rifle before but this pistol business was all new to me. Apparently I did pretty good!! My husband declared his undying love for me and begged me to spend more time at the range with him. Minus the kids:) I'm going to try and oblige him.

After a yummy lunch at City Barbeque we decided to pay a visit to Leatherlips.

 We had more than one raucous sword fights. In public no less. I could see both boys looking around though to see if anyone was watching them. They're definitely getting older. I fear our days of public sword battles are almost over:(

 Of course we had to climb some trees!!

 And visit the river. We were a bit sad that we couldn't go creeking, but poor Mason had a cast on that went clear up to his elbow. No water play for him. It was all good though:) I will say that I didn't realize exactly how many water related activities we do in the Summer until we couldn't actually do them.

 The next day we got up bright and early and went to church. Then we went to the city to visit the main library. Which was great fun to see through Mason's eyes. He was amazed that the library had a parking garage. And that a large homeless population hangs out there to beat the heat. Definitely a culture shock as compared to our hometown! Then we headed to Inniswood for some hiking fun. The kids had lots of fun on the bridge.

Later in the evening we decided to head out for some dessert. Andy really wanted ice cream. Not just any old ice cream but Jeni's ice cream. Which is upscale, gourmet and pricey. Not exactly the place you normally take your kids to on a regualr basis. It's more of a date night ice cream kind of place. Or at least more geared towards adults with refined taste buds. They have a few locations and the lines are always out the door in the Summer months. My kids have eaten Jeni's before and they have liked it. They usually stick to the most basic flavors though. Except Isaac of course. So Mason starts looking over the flavors and I could tell he was unimpressed to say the least:) They had,among so many other things,  peach buttermilk,  reisling poached pear sorbet, salty caramel, rockmill golden ale and apricots, rhubarb and lime cardamom, sweet corn and black raspberries (which I'm totally asking for a sample of on our next visit!) and goat cheese with black cherries. This is just a small sample of their offerings. It's all made right here in our area. By hand:) It's amazingly delicious. But Mason sort of looked like he wanted to puke while glancing over their offerings. Andy had decided on gravel road and Isaac was excited about the black coffee flavor. Mason sort of giggled over the goat cheese and cherries...poor guy looked a little green when I told him that's what I was getting:) I knew right then that we needed an alternative dessert. I gave the kids a choice--Jeni's or Kripsy Kreme. Mason, Maia and Asher chose Krispy Kreme while Isaac went with Jeni's. We all benefitted in the end because we got extra donuts and ate them for breakfast the next morning:)

On Monday  we got up and had a lazy morning. The boys played Lego's and some video games. After lunch we headed off to COSI to meet up with the rest of Mason's family. I am kicking myself for not taking along a camera!! We had a really wonderful time and it was sooooo nice to catch up with my friend:) Maia took to Paige and Claire in a very mother hen sort of way. It was so sweet to see. My girl is definitely future teacher material. After a fun day at the science center we headed to The Spaghetti Warehouse for dinner. Andy couldn't spend the whole day with us because he had to work but he did meet up with us at the restaurant. The Milburn's even made an impromptu trip to our new home!! So much fun to show off our house:) It was filthy and unorganized but I didn't even care. Someone familiar, a friend was stepping foot into our home. Sounds silly but that was important to me. 

I know we only have a month left but we are gonna make the most of the rest of our Summer break:) The kids are very excited to spend some time with their Noni and Paw Paw. We still have birthday parties and pool dates to look forward to. Isaac's Summer Bible study is still going strong. Shark week is coming up. And I just got word that the Thomas clan will be coming and spending a few nights!!!!! Now that is something to look forward to!!!

As I go to bed tonight I am thankful for my Saviour, my most awesome husband, fabulous children, family that loves us and good friends who enjoy getting together:) I have a very good life!!

Fast Friends!!

So Maia is changing schools this Fall. So is Asher and Isaac but we're talking about Maia here. Mainly because Asher is going into 1st grade--where I don't imagine it'll be too hard for him to adjust and make new friends. Although we are going to miss our old friends something fierce:( Everyday Asher came home talking about Don, Sean, Tamia, Arooj and Madeleine. I'm going to miss hearing those names. I'm also going to miss some of the parents. Isaac is going into Middle School--where EVERYBODY will be new. Of course there will be lots of kids who already know each other--but I have faith he'll be fine. Certainly he'll run into some of the kids he's played ball with over the years. Or maybe even some kids from his current BS troop. At least I hope so. He does have one good friend who will for sure be a student at the same Middle School. That's very reassuring.

So back to Miss Maia. I think 4th grade would be an especially hard year to change schools. Girls are starting to get clique-ish and maybe even a little mean at this stage. Maia will go from being a well loved, popular student to one who nobody really knows. My heart breaks for her because this will be her 3rd elementary school in her relatively short school career:( Something I NEVER wanted for my kids.

The good news is that she won't be totally amongst strangers. She does know, and is actually pretty close to, another student at her new school. They went to school together at Maia's old school and became friends then. They are in the same Brownie troop and definitely run in the same circles. These girls have been to many sleepovers and birthday parties together. Huge plus because Maia loves this girl:)

There is also another family from our old school that is transitioning into our new school. We adore this family!! Super nice mom and 4 wonderful kids:) They have a son whom Maia has always gotten along really well with. She probably would have told you he was one of her best friends in 1st and 2nd grade!! So we will be seeing them in the halls this year too.

And Maia's beloved 3rd grade teacher Mrs A? Yep...she's transitioning to our new school too!! Maia was beyond super thrilled to hear this bit of news. Well, she actually wasn't thrilled at first because she thought Mrs A would be moving on and that she would be remaining at her old school. That made her really sad. But her frown turned upside down when she learned that they would both be in the same building next year:)

I thought that was a pretty good start as far as Maia knowing a few people at her new school. She has also played volleyball and basketball--kids from her teams could certainly be students at her new school. Not to mention church friends and fellow piano students. But then we got even more super good news!!

There is a little girl that has been in the same Brownie troop as Maia for the last 3 years. Now they don't know each other very well because they have always attended different schools. The majority of our troop is based out of Maia's old school but there have always been 3 girls that attended a different elementary school down the street. It seemed like the girls sort of grouped off with the other girls from their own school so Maia never really had a chance to become close with any of them and vice versa. It turns out that one of these little girls lives down the street from our new home AND has also open enrolled into the same school that Maia has!!! Yay!!! Another familiar face:)

The other little girl's mom and I have been e-mailing back and forth just a bit and she invited Maia over for a playdate yesterday. I have always liked the mom. She doesn't come to all the Girl Scout functions so I have never gotten very close to her. But I have chatted with her several times and I've always thought that she seemed like a very nice lady. And the little girl has always seemed super sweet. They came in to pick Maia up for the playdate and decided to stay for a bit. We had a great conversation!!

They took Maia to a local park, out for ice cream (which was apparently completely covered in sprinkles. must find this ice cream shop) and then back to their house to play. Andy and I went to pick Miss Maia up several hours later. She was having such a great time that she HID when she saw our van driving down the road. She literally ditched the scooter she was riding and took off in the hopes of us leaving her there. Naughty girl:) Anyway, after I got her all rounded up and we were on our way she told us all about her super exciting awesome day. The girl was so excited that she talked non stop the whole rest of the night!!! And when I say non stop I really mean non stop!! She barely took breaths. I was starting to worry she was going to pass out from lack of oxygen. And then this morning?!?! You guessed it...more talk of her new friend and what a great time they had:) Maia was begging me to take her back over today. Like I could just show up on their doorstop and drop her off or something, because I'm sure they would have appreciated THAT:)

So then this afternoon I get this gift of an e-mail in my inbox:

Hi Lori,

 

I wanted to send you a quick line to say thank you for letting Maia spend time with Sadie yesterday.  I think they had a good time and played well together.  I hope Maia had a good time.  Sadie said she really likes Maia and had fun with her yesterday.

 

I also wanted to let you know she is always welcome at our house at any time!  Just give us a call, we are usually home.  Also with Sadie being an only child, she does get lonely and tries to find something to do and someone to do something with!  

 

Lori, you have a very nice and well mannered daughter and it was a pleasure having her at our house!

 

Sincerely,

Donna (insert last name here)

 

So there you have it. Just like that Maia has a new friend. Easy peasy:) Hoping that when class lists come out she ends up being in class with someone she knows:) But if not? My girl is the queen of making new friends it seems!! I have no doubts that she will be just fine:) 

Seriously?!?!?!?!?!?!

This is not my week:) I actually feel bad for my little family having to put up with me. I am crabby, grumpy and prone to temper tantrums right now. Seeing my grandma on Sunday just threw my week into a tailspin.

I was not a nice person to be around yesterday. I have had it with kids not picking up after themselves and half finished projects (remember my table?) by another member of the household. I have a hard time living in chaos and things only half done turn me into a crazy woman. I am sick of being interrupted and of kids ganging up on each other and fighting. I am sick of whining and crying. And most of all...I can't get the image of my grandma out of my mind.

So after a very rough start to our week I vowed to turn it around today. I got up before the kids and spent some extra time in prayer. That usually turns things around for me right away:) Well our furniture was scheduled to be delivered today. I have been waiting a very very long time for new furniture. I have been very patient. Not only did we pick out new furniture for our main level but Andy splurged a bit and bought me a new sectional for the lower level too!! Talk about exciting and just the thing to turn my week around right?

The delivery guys showed up right on time and brought our new sofa and loveseat in. They did have a bit of trouble. I had to open and clear out a path in the garage and they had to take off a door. I could tell they were less than thrilled. As soon as the furniture was in the house I knew I had made the right decision. I LOVE what we picked out for the main level:)

The sectional that was to go into the lower level presented to be a problem. They claimed it wouldn't fit through the doorway. Isaac said he heard them discussing being late for the next delivery and talking about how they wanted to get out of here. Don't get me wrong...I know it wouldn't have been a picnic to get the furniture in. But I think with a little effort they could've managed it. They tried for about 2 minutes then promptly told me they couldn't do it, told me I would have a store credit and then they left. With my sectional in the back of their truck:(

So right after they left I notice 2 things: 1) my loveseat doesn't have it's throw pillows. 2) there is not 1 but 2 stains on the bottom of the loveseat. My patience is seriously running thin by this point:(

And then the icing on the cake. I go to feed Cody, Asher's fish that has really turned into Andy's beloved fish, and find him floating:( That's right..he's dead:( I know the day could get worse. I know that many people have really awful things going on in their lives and that in the big scheme of things my life is totally awesome and my problems are very minor. But darn it all...I'm gonna throw myself a pity party today!!

Andy did go to the furniture store and get a refund on our sectional instead of the store credit that the delivery guys tried to sell me. He also got to the bottom of the missing throw pillows. Kinda. No one seems to know what happened to them? But they will be delivering new ones in the next 6-8 weeks. Which seems like an awful long time to me to straighten out their mistake on a very large (for us) purchase.

Now I'm gonna show my crazy side. I'm not usually a big conspiracy theorist and I usually find the very best in people and take their word as truth. But I'm sort of thinking these delivery guys were mad at us and this is their payback. Andy was initially told that there would be no delivery fee and that the ottoman came free with the sectional. When it came time to make the actual purchase this changed. It turns out the ottoman wasn't free and neither was the delivery. Andy was not pleased as that is not what he was initially told so he talked down the delivery charge to half. I sort of think those guys were mad. Therefore they "couldn't" fit my sectional through the door, "lost" my pillows and stepped on my couch (which should have been in plastic)...causing those stained footprints on the bottom:( Tomorrow I may feel different. I hope I feel different. But today? Today, I think those people kinda stink.