2 Down...50 To Go...

I'm a little late in posting this. I'll tell you why in a few minutes. I finished my 2nd book of the year, Next To Love.  I was drawn to it because it had to do with the WWII homefront. I always seem to be drawn to books about WWII so this was a natural selection for me. It wasn't the best book I've ever read. Parts of it were choppy and I think there were just too many narrators at some points. I still really enjoyed the book overall though. It had good character development. It gave me a point of view of the war that I had not previously explored. I learned some new things and that's always, well, almost always, a good thing. Not only did it cover loss and all of the emotions that go with that, it also covered PTSD. Before it had a name of course, because back then we just told people to suck it up and get over it. The book followed the main and supporting characters  not only through the war years, but also through the following years where they had to learn a new normal. It really delved into the negative effects of the war on individuals and also on communities. It was a glimpse into America through a 35 year time span.


So I think what really kept me interested was thinking about my grandma, and what her life was like through those years. I could picture her among the 3 main characters of this book. My grandma never talked about the past. She was very much a look to the future kind of woman. When we were going through her many many pictures we found one of an unknown woman, labeled "my sister". Was this woman really her sister? We have no idea, because she simply didn't share much.   Maybe it was just a good friend? The point is, is that even my grandmother's children, and her own brother, couldn't say for certain that there wasn't a mystery sister out there somewhere. Now we'll never know. I don't want to leave my grandchildren wondering about who I was someday. Maybe that's why I tend to overshare sometimes:)


So anyway, this book really took me back to what could have been my grandmother's younger days and opened up a whole new realm of questions that I wish I could ask her. And that threw me into a tailspin. I'm not gonna lie, it's been a tough week for me. I am questioning so many things right now. It seems like this grief process is one step forward...two steps back. 


So when I don't show up on Facebook, this blog or Pinterest for days at a time? It probably means I am struggling with grief. And lots of times with life in general. In honor of my grandma though, the woman who thought the past was the past and it was best to leave it there, the woman who always looked to the present and the future, I am going to start looking for one thing a day that I am grateful for. Not the big things, the things that of course I'm grateful for and so is everyone else in the World. But the little things, the things I may have to search through the mundane for.