Andy and I had noticed that Shiloh was having a harder time getting up and lying down the last few days. Her back legs seemed to be bothering her but she never really complained. Never whimpered or cried. Yesterday I noticed her breathing was a bit weird. When I pointed it out to Andy though he couldn't see what I was talking about. It was just very subtle.
Yesterdy afternoon we had company over and Shiloh came out to visit and everything. Maia and her friend Brianna brushed her and loved on her lots. She was still going up and down the stairs and eating. I never would've guessed that she would die just a few short hours later. She did let Willow lay close to her for the past 2 days though and she has NEVER let her do that before. That should have been our first clue that something was very wrong I guess. Anyway, she camped herself out in front of the laundry room door and wouldn't move when I tried to go in to switch the laundry over. She still popped her head up and greeted me. Licked my hand even, she didn't really act like anything was wrong. It was more like she was being stubborn, which she was really good at, than about not being able to move. I bent down and rubbed her and told her she didn't need to move that I would do laundry later Andy, the kids and I all played a board game. We were still in very close proximity to Shiloh though and none of us heard her whimper, cry or even have labored breathing. When the game was over Maia needed something from the room that SHiloh was in. She said that she noticed that Shiloh was very still. Too still. Willow was in her cage, crying and pointing her paw towards Shiloh. We didn't put Willow in her cage and her door was open so Maia knew right away that something was very wrong. Willow never goes in her cage voluntarily. Maia went straight to Shiloh and tried to shake her. She shook her again and didn't get any reaction from Shiloh so she screamed for Andy. We all heard her and went running. She died sometime in the hour that we were playing the game. She never made a sound so it must have been a very peaceful passing. Everybody is devastated. Maia is really having a rough time. I wish it had been Andy or me that found her and not Maia. Poor Maia is never going to forget this. Shiloh was Isaac's very best friend. She was always such a good listener. He is trying so hard to be brave. Isaac was so good to Shiloh. So gentle and kind. He made sure that she received lots of attention every evening. The kids don't even know what life is without Shiloh. She was here before them:) My first baby. The house seems very quiet. And empty. Even though all the rest of us are still here.
I am thankful that she died peacefully. On her own. I know that we couldn't have made the decision to put her down ourselves. I'm thankful that she's not in pain anymore. I know she's thrilled to be able to run and jump again. She's probably off on some grand adventure. I'm thankful she was our faithful friend for 14 years. I miss her desperately though:( I am sick of death. I can't take any more losses. This year has been too hard. Asher keeps saying that Grandma Eileen has a dog in Heaven now. He thinks they're living together:) I hope he's right.
Last night she was all wrapped up in a warm blanket, in a box in the garage. I kept wanting to check on her just in case she wasn't really dead, wishful thinking on my part. Andy and Isaac took her to the vet first thing this morning. They will send her off to be cremated. Can't believe we are starting the year off with yet another death. One of Shiloh's very favorite things was to play in the snow. She loved to catch snowballs:) This morning we woke up to our first flurries of the year. I'm sure those few snowflakes were God letting us know that Shiloh is fine. All is good. Life moves on.
Before tragedy struck we had a really lovely day! It was filled with lots of laughter and fun. Good food, board games and even a visit from some friends. I read a book, blogged and set up a meal plan. All positive starts to a brand New Year. I am devastated that my girl is gone. She has seen me through many a crises and countless good times too. But, I can't let her death affect my plans, my positive mindset for the start of something new. So while we're sad, and many tears have and will be shed over our loss...we are still moving forward. Still ready to tackle a brand new year with positive attitudes!
The kids head back to school tomorrow. Andy heads back to work. I get to find my normal routine again. Not the routine I followed before break because that routine was sucking the life out of me. But something new, fresh and exciting.
4 comments:
Awwww....this made me cry!! As I was reading, my mind kept going back to Sept. 7th when we had to put Bosco down because of a broken back. I sooo feel your pain and although you have Willow, and we have Gypsy, the house isn't the same. It must take a long time to get over the death of a loving pet; one that we have had for such a long time....I feel your sadness and your pain. Love to you all...Mom
Yeah:( It's been pretty tough. I keep hearing her walk through the house... and then I remember that she's gone. Or I think she's laying beside me and then I reach down to pet her and of course she's not there. The vet's office called today. Her ashes are ready to be picked up already. I'm just not sure I can bring myself to walk in there knowing her body is a bunch of ashes stuck in a box. I think I'll have Andy pick her up. It's all a little too morbid for me.
I'm glad she went peacefully. I wonder how Willow will do being alone too now after having been with Shiloh.
Thats wonderful that you had her for 14 years though. Lots of happy memories.
Thanks Tracy!! Willow is probably having a harder time than the rest of us. She just walks around the house crying. It's really pathetic!! I hope she perks back up soon:) She just seems so lost without Shiloh. She really followed Shiloh's direction, almost like she thought Shiloh was her mama. It's been sort of crazy to see.
The rest of us doing good though. We are all sad she is gone but we are happy that we had our girl for 14 years. We are happy that she died peacefully and before she had any major health troubles. She was a wonderful friend to all of us and she is deeply missed. She will never be forgotten.
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