1 down, 51 to go.

I finished my first book of 2012. 1 down, 51 to go:) 


I sort of wish I had picked a different book as the first one of the year. I read "Maine" by J. Courtney Sullivan.  It was more of a Summer read than a Winter one. I sort of knew that before I even started the book though so that's my own fault. I'm not even really sure what exactly drew me to the book in the first place. I guess it looked pretty on the library shelf or something. Maybe I was wishing for a bit of sunshine in the middle of this very wet, rainy Winter we've had so far. 


It wasn't a terrible book. Just not a great book. It took awhile to get into at first as I wasn't sure exactly where the plot was headed. Eventually I did end up liking the characters. I think the author did a really great job developing them. At almost 400 pages I felt I knew them pretty well--and could even relate to them on some level. The problem, for me, with the book was that after almost 400 pages I needed some closure. And there was none to be had here. I was invested in these characters!! I NEED to know what happened with them. Instead I ended up with a lot of loose ends. A few loose ends are okay. Real life isn't neat and tidy all the time so I don't really expect my books to be either. But some closure on the bigger issues would've been nice. When I closed the book for the last time I ended up feeling empty. I felt like I didn't know much more in the end than I knew in the beginning. It was unsatisfying to say the least. 


In other news the vet called--It's time to pick up Shiloh's ashes. I can't believe how FAST they were. We dropped off Shiloh's body on Monday morning and they called Tuesday afternoon. I told the kids that we were going to swing by and pick the ashes up after I picked them up from school. Maia just about lost it. She doesn't want to step foot anywhere near that vet's office. And I suspect she really wants nothing to do with the ashes either. Truth be told, neither do I. It's sort of weird to me that we burned our dog's body up and are now going to have these ashes sitting around in a box. What are we supposed to do with them? We really don't have anywhere to scatter them. I'm not sure how I feel about that scenario anyway. Chances are the box with the ashes will be put up on a shelf and eventually forgotten about. Not that Shiloh will be forgotten because that will never happen. Just the ashes. We didn't have many alternatives besides cremation though. You're not supposed to be burying animals in your backyard so that was out. I'm not sure I could have handled that option anyway. A pet cemetery was out of the question too. I know they exist. People buy plots,  caskets and even headstones for their pets all the time. Honestly, I loved and adored my sweet girl, but that seems way over the top to me. There is no way that I would be visiting an animal's grave site with flowers and grave decorations in hand. It's hard enough to do that for the actual people that we have loved and lost. And as much as I loved Shiloh--she wasn't a person. It came down to letting the vet throw her body away or cremation. I couldn't stand the thought of my beloved girl being tossed away like trash so cremation it was. I think picking her up is an Andy job though. I don't think I can handle it. I still miss her so much:( It's very hard adjusting to life without her. 


Wow...that was morbid! Sorry.